Opinions of Others

I empathize with Kafka, always assuming the worst about myself. Murphy’s Law resounds in my head and I recite it methodically, mantra-like: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And usually they do.

I wonder why people even talk with me. I don’t believe I add worth to conversations, I just bumble around haphazardly, trying to avoid making a fool out of myself. There’s a person who is new to the church, and I really don’t know why she struck up a conversation with me.

She is the complete opposite of me. Her life is carefully decorated with achievements that I couldn’t even fathom. She works in finance, is intellectually brilliant, can not just hold, but lift a conversation and is stunningly beautiful. I sat next to her during lunch and we had a pleasant chat. I mostly listened while she spoke.

Time for another self-deprecating rant. I’m not attractive at all. I believe my worth in the eyes of others is minimal. I always overthink, my thoughts are always working overtime to analyze the social situations which I frankly don’t understand.

Today was especially fun though as there was food festival near me. Had some bomb-ass takoyaki and two whole grilled squids. They come steaming hot and were mind numbingly delicious. Probably ate servings for at least four people.

I’m going to catch some Zs.

Peace out!